Disney Uses Cars as Cover-up for CARNAGE!

The Mouse House has been busy lately.  As many of you may know this weekend marks the public unveiling of the new expansions at the Disney California Adventure park in Anaheim.  We at the AAHCS would under normal circumstances welcome these enhancements, but we have gotten wind of a story that makes the expansion project much more sinister.

Many of you know John Lasseter as the man who directed the Toy Story and Cars franchises for Pixar Animation Studios, of which he was one of the founding members.  Over the past few years he has also taken on the role of Principal Creative Advisor at Walt Disney Imagineering.  But what you may not know is that Mr. Lasseter has a dark past that makes him public enemy #1 to the AAHCS...

He was a Jungle Cruise Skipper Hippo MURDERER!

Now they naysayers will state,"But he is a changed man.  It's been over 20 years since he held that job."  And while we at the AAHCS would like to believe that sentiment, we did some digging and discovered a vile plan that traces the expansion plans of the California Adventure Park back to the daily killings of Animatronic Hippos!

The California Adventure Park since opening in 2001 has been a disappointment among the fan community.  It was built on the cheap, was very uninspired, and failed to bring in the huge crowd levels the big wigs in Anaheim had originally anticipated.  In 2006 Disney bought Pixar and through that acquisition brought Lasseter back into the fold.  It was then that he began working with Imagineering on plans to boost attendance, with his own desires at the heart of it.  A year later in 2007 the plans were announced to the public as a multi-year expansion with a projected budget of $1.1 billion.

The highlight of the expansion was an all new land based on Lasseter's film Cars. The popularity of that brand was sure to be a huge draw, which is just what they wanted.  The park which had been struggling for so long would finally we getting the tickets sales it needed but John Lasseter would also be getting something in return.

Since his leaving Disney John has often mentioned how he missed being a Jungle Cruise Skipper.  With his new found celebrity, due to his creations at Pixar, it was obvious that he wouldn't be able to cruise the rivers of the world and shoot hippos without making headlines.  This is where Carsland comes into play.  With everyone flocking to California Adventure to see the new expansions, Disneyland becomes a ghost town.  Now John Lasseter is free to take up his old habits and shoot hippos without negative repercussions from the media!

We at the AAHCS have worked too hard to let this happen.  But we need your help!  We need all of our Hippo Heroes to stay vigilant, and help to keep Adventureland free of John Lasseter's tyrannical reign of terror.  If you see him take evidence and notify us at the AAHCS at once.  This summer is crucial in our fight to save our Animatronic Hippo friends.  Please join us.


Thank you for your continued support!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder

New Developments

This last weekend was without a doubt a very busy weekend for us at the AAHCS.  We've made progress while also adding to our list of enemies.

This past weekend a very special event was held at Six Flags Magic Mountain, in Valenica, CA.  However, due to conflicts in scheduling, an AAHCS representative was not present to document the event.  Robb Alvey, owner of Theme Park Review and loyal supporter of the AAHCS was on hand to document the festivities. 

"Well it was epic.  They brought out their old animatronic

hippo from the Granny Grand Prix ride.  We had a ceremony,

and released it into the wild."

- Robb Alvey

We also recently received an anonymous tip from our secret informant Christopher Lundy.  He reported to us that the Jungle Cruise attraction has aquired a new sponser.  Current Jungle Cruise Murderers Skippers are now using the following in their spiel...

"The Jungle Cruise has been brought to you today by the Hippo

Farmers of America.  Hippo: The other-other white meat."

We here at the AAHCS are appalled, as usual, by Disney's corporate greed.  We did some digging and were horrified to find that through their deal with the HFA, Disney is being supplied with hippo meat product which is unknowingly being served in the parks!  It is sickening that hippos both real and animatronic have such little meaning to these corporate bureaucrats.

The next disturbing bit of news was uncovered via Disney's own facebook page. 

Famous Hollywood actor, Seth Rogen, is now on file saying he "...wanted to be the guy who ran the Jungle Cruise, and shoot cap guns at animals."

We find it sickening that our culture has become so desensitized to violence toward animatronic animals. With Seth Rogen willing to be their poster-boy, it's only a matter of time before Hollywood begins to cash in on this trend.   Instead of Observe and Report, Pineapple Express, and Zach and Miri Make a Porno we'll begin seeing films like Observe and Shoot, Pineapple Whip, yum... no wait... Kill Hippo Express, and Zach and Miri Shoot a Hippo.

Finally, Knott's Berry Farm held a press conference last Sunday during which the following question was asked...  (Skip ahead to 24:40 mark)



It troubles us that Knott's representatives handled the question in such a light-hearted way.  The situation of our hippo friends has never been so dire.  The time for laughing is over.  We need to roll up our sleeves and get to work for this cause before it is too late.

Thank you for your continued support!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder