Disneyland to celebrate it’s “Blood Diamond” Anniversary

Disneyland opened it’s gates for the first time on July 17, 1955.  An optimistic and carefree America was there to ensure it’s success.  But there was also something there that day that would cast a dark cloud over Anaheim for the next 60 years.

Yes my friends, I am referring to…

The Jungle Cruise.

Since day one, Jungle Cruise Skippers have been navigating their boats through the jungle rivers of the world MURDERING innocent Animatronic Hippos.  For those of you who have been following our blog for any amount of time, this is no longer startling news.  That is why it is so important that we keep this ugly truth in the light.  It is easy to slip back into 60 year old habits.

In other recent news, Disneyland has once again raised it’s ticket prices.  This is also no longer startling as the company has been steadily raising prices year after year.  In fact one day ticket prices have increased 87% in the last decade.  Critics have bashed Disney over the annual price hikes without seeing any significant investment back into the park.  Our insider contacts have uncovered why this is, and it all links back to the Animatronic Hippos.

As we mentioned earlier the daily massacre of Animatronic Hippos has been going on for nearly 60 years now.  None of the pencil pushers at Disney could have anticipated the long term popularity of this attraction.  Long term sustainability was of no concern.  This was during the 1950’s when Animatronic Hippo populations were at their highest historical levels.  Fast forward 60 years to now.  Animatronic Hippos are now on the verge of extinction, which has driven up their costs exponentially.  But that will not stop the Corporate Disney Devils from “putting on the show” for their guests.  With the 60^th Anniversary of the park just a few months away, the rivers of the world will once again fill with the blood of endangered Animatronic Hippos, and we the public are paying for it.

Over the last few months many of the Hippo deniers out there have claimed that, “the Skippers no longer shoot AT the Animatronic Hippos.”  What these nut jobs aren’t taking into consideration are the cold hard facts of science that Disney does not want you to hear. When the skippers fire their guns into the air to “scare off the hippos” where do you think the bullets go?  What goes up must come down.  And with years of daily practice, the Skippers have gotten horrifyingly accurate at shooting hippos this way.

All of us here at the AAHCS had hoped that conditions for the Animatronic Hippos would have improved by now.  But unfortunately our work is far from done.  Please join our cause, and help us save the Animatronic Hippos.

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder