Hippo Relocation to Rivers of America Caught in Star Wars

Darth Vader loves choking Animatronic Hippos to death with the dark side of the Force.

Greetings Hippo Heroes!  Another summer has passed in our constant fight to save the Animatronic Hippos here in Anaheim.  We were fortunate that we were able over the last few months to make headway on a project very near and dear to our hearts.  As you may remember 4 years ago, when we launched our online campaign, we revealed our plans for the Hippo Relocation Program.  Our initial plans were to petition for the hippos to be relocated to other "safer" waterways in the Magic Kingdom.  Our team spent many months doing research in the field to find our beloved animatronic animals a new home.

We initially gravitated towards relocation to other water-based attractions.  Pirates of the Caribbean and Splash Mountain both being obvious choices for both proximity to the jungle and the already thriving populations of animatronic animals in each attraction.  Our teams conducted more research during our refined search and came to the conclusion that neither of the two rides infrastructure could support the demanding needs of such a large animatronic creature as the Jungle Cruise Hippos.

Pirates of the Caribbean was very quickly taken off of the list.  Although there were several large lagoons that our Hippos would have found to be very spacious, we had to decline due to the amount of firearms present.  We also had reason to believe that the animatronic pirates, who primarily inhabit the space, have even less regard for animatronic life than Jungle Cruise Skippers.  Personally I believe that the Animatronic Pirates are in desperate need of rehabilitation for their flagrant substance abuse problems.  But I will save that blog post for AnimatronicAlcoholicsAnonymous.com.

Splash Mountain was not ideal because of the narrow waterways.  Although they are quite friendly, Animatronic hippos could quite easily overturn a log in such a narrow space. In addition the animatronic animal population of Splash Mountain is quite large and there really was not enough room for a hippo to live comfortably. 

So we started back at square one and continued our search.  It wasn't until early this year that we finally set our eyes on The Rivers of America.

The Mark Twain Riverboat makes it's way along the peaceful waterways of the Rivers of America.

The Rivers of America was the ideal choice.  Large waterways, peaceful atmosphere, and no danger of being shot at by trigger happy skippers.  We began to pursue this option and were doing so without interference until last week.

A week ago, Disney announced plans to shut down Big Thunder Ranch, Disneyland Railroad, and all shows and attractions on the Rivers of America for 18 months to make way for construction of their new Star Wars Land.  The ideal relocation spot, near the back North-East corner of the river, will be removed and the train tracks will be moved south to make way for the expansion.  Nearly a quarter of the rivers will be removed to make way for Star Wars.

Everyone here at the AAHCS is frustrated by this announcement.  We will not be able to resume our relocation efforts until July 2017 at the earliest.  We need all of your continued support more than ever during this dark time.  We must save the Animatronic Hippos before it is too late!!!

Thank you all.

SAVE THE HIPPOS!!!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder

Disney Reveals Plans to Profit on Animatronic Hippo Slaughter With New Breakfast Option

We here at the AAHCS had thought we had seen it all.  There was nothing else the Walt Disney Company could do to exploit the endangered Animatronic Hippo.  We were wrong.

You can now have your breakfast with a side of MURDER!!!

Just a few days ago the Mouse House announced it's plans to take breakfast reservations on the Jungle Cruise ride.  The website says the following...

"Your Sunrise Safari will begin with a welcome from the Jungle Navigation Company, Ltd., before you dive into breakfast on the African veldt of the world-famous Jungle Cruise attraction in Adventureland. I would be “lion” if I said this wasn’t a special opportunity — it’s not everyday that you get a chance to dine in the attraction.

 Following breakfast, you’re going to get a crash course in Jungle Skipper training before getting behind the wheel of your own boat to recite that famous spiel. Upon your Initiation into the elite “Fraternal League of Secret Skippers,” you’ll receive an exclusive keepsake—a tribal mask inspired by original concept art for the Jungle Cruise attraction."

We can't even begin to describe how disgusting this is.  Although not explicitly stated in the itinerary, the initiation ritual into the "Fraternal Leage of Secret Skippers" is exactly what you would think...
KILLING ANIMATRONIC HIPPOS!!!

Our efforts toward the conservation of Anaheim's Animatronic Hippo population has never been more important than it is now.  We thank all of our followers and ask for your continued support as we try to save these majestic creatures for future generations.

Save the Hippos!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder

Disneyland to celebrate it’s “Blood Diamond” Anniversary

Disneyland opened it’s gates for the first time on July 17, 1955.  An optimistic and carefree America was there to ensure it’s success.  But there was also something there that day that would cast a dark cloud over Anaheim for the next 60 years.

Yes my friends, I am referring to…

The Jungle Cruise.

Since day one, Jungle Cruise Skippers have been navigating their boats through the jungle rivers of the world MURDERING innocent Animatronic Hippos.  For those of you who have been following our blog for any amount of time, this is no longer startling news.  That is why it is so important that we keep this ugly truth in the light.  It is easy to slip back into 60 year old habits.

In other recent news, Disneyland has once again raised it’s ticket prices.  This is also no longer startling as the company has been steadily raising prices year after year.  In fact one day ticket prices have increased 87% in the last decade.  Critics have bashed Disney over the annual price hikes without seeing any significant investment back into the park.  Our insider contacts have uncovered why this is, and it all links back to the Animatronic Hippos.

As we mentioned earlier the daily massacre of Animatronic Hippos has been going on for nearly 60 years now.  None of the pencil pushers at Disney could have anticipated the long term popularity of this attraction.  Long term sustainability was of no concern.  This was during the 1950’s when Animatronic Hippo populations were at their highest historical levels.  Fast forward 60 years to now.  Animatronic Hippos are now on the verge of extinction, which has driven up their costs exponentially.  But that will not stop the Corporate Disney Devils from “putting on the show” for their guests.  With the 60^th Anniversary of the park just a few months away, the rivers of the world will once again fill with the blood of endangered Animatronic Hippos, and we the public are paying for it.

Over the last few months many of the Hippo deniers out there have claimed that, “the Skippers no longer shoot AT the Animatronic Hippos.”  What these nut jobs aren’t taking into consideration are the cold hard facts of science that Disney does not want you to hear. When the skippers fire their guns into the air to “scare off the hippos” where do you think the bullets go?  What goes up must come down.  And with years of daily practice, the Skippers have gotten horrifyingly accurate at shooting hippos this way.

All of us here at the AAHCS had hoped that conditions for the Animatronic Hippos would have improved by now.  But unfortunately our work is far from done.  Please join our cause, and help us save the Animatronic Hippos.

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder