Animatronic Trump Defends Animatronic Hippo Slaughter

I'm sure as everyone is well aware, we are already a few months into the new year and going full steam ahead into the 2016 Election season.  In November we will once again come together as a nation to elect and inaugurate a new President into the historically hallowed Hall of Presidents.

This is not a decision we should take lightly.  As Americans it is our solemn duty to consider our options carefully and elect a candidate who will pledge to protect our liberties, uphold the Constitution of the United States, and promise to end the barbaric daily murder of animatronic hippos.  There is one candidate who cannot pledge those promises.

That candidate is Animatronic Donald Trump.

Animatronic Trump is currently the GOP (Gentlemen of Plastic) Presidential front-runner. His campaign has come out guns blazing on the issue of Animatronic Hippos.  Back in early March of 2015 we had broken the story of the rising ticket prices being linked to the dwindling hippo population. Animatronic Trump had gotten wind of the story after speculation started to emerge about the hippos being removed once and for all.  He had this to say on Twitter...

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Animatronic Trump also had this to say in a recent interview with the Buena Vista Bugle.

" I am a big believer in hunting. You'd be surprised how much I like it. The [Jungle Cruise] Skippers love to hunt. They love it. They are great marksmen, great shots. They are members of the NRA, very proudly. I am a big supporter of the 2nd Amendment. " 

-Animatronic Donald Trump

It is quite obvious that Animatronic Trump is not the Constitutional scholar that he would lead you to believe.  The 2nd Amendment, no matter how narrowly or broadly interpreted, has very little to do with hunting Animatronic animals on the international waters of the rivers of the world.  He is using our founding documents to deflect questioning of the true matter of the subject.

It only takes a quick google search to find out that not only has Animatronic Trump verbally praised the on-going bloodbath, but he has paid into it too.  Animatronic Trump has donated hefty sums to Disney in order to ensure that the inhumane treatment of the hippos will continue well into the future.

At the AAHCS we will no longer stand for this.  Shooting at Animatronic hippos for entertainment has been a brutal and ugly part of our society for 60 years.  It is time that we elected a President that will stand up and fight for the rights of all animatronics.  With your help we can bring down Animatronic Trump and make our waterways safe once and for all.

Is this really the sight you want to see come next January?

We need to make sure that we make America great for everyone, including Animatronic Hippos.

Save the Hippos!!!

Caitlin Wahlstrom
Co-Founder

Jeremy Kohrs
Co-Founder